Email protocol is as important as any other written communication. It is very easy to react quickly to an email you receive, thinking it’s the right thing to say. However, if you take a step back, you may realize that what you wrote may not have been the best option after all.

Here’s an example: Your colleague worked hard on a project. You know it took him weeks and weeks to finally get to the finish line. Now, he’s got a final product. He emails his results out to the group. You read the report and right away shoot back an email (responding to ALL) pointing out  a couple of errors in his report.

Now, I’d like you to stop and think. How would you feel if the tables were turned? You’ve sweated over a project. You are finally done. And, as soon as you send your work out to everyone involved, your manager marks your report up and tells you you’ve got an error in it, and copies everyone on the distribution list which included senior leaders, even though she had looked and reviewed it several times before. How does THAT make you feel? Belittled? Frustrated? Angry? Mad? Annoyed. All of the above?

It is obvious that in both scenarios above, someone was not in touch with their heart before writing that message. Instead, he or she was showing off by sending a message to the other person that “I’m as good or even better than you.”

As I share these scenarios, some of you may be thinking “That’s a bunch of baloney. I’d never do that! I’d never say that!” Really? You wouldn’t? Think back… and now think again.

You see, when we feel superior to others, we tend to feel powerful and want to flaunt that power. As Abraham Lincoln once said “Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power.” Unfortunately, there are colleagues who are malicious, jealous and full of bitterness from prior experiences. Or, they are ambitious and they just care about themselves and making sure they look good. Because of this, they try to harm others for their own benefit, not caring how many “dead bodies” they leave around them as they try to climb the leadership ladder. However, their glory and fame is limited, because eventually their karma does come back to haunt them. It’s important for you to be aware of these types of people and work with them, helping them to realize that you are there to support them and help each other work through difficulties and achieve common goals. You will gain their respect and friendship.

Having been in the workforce for over 35 years, I’ve seen it all, and a lesson I’ve learned over the years is that unless we are placed in the exact same situation, we cannot say whether or not we would act differently than another person. However, the key here is to be aware of our thoughts and feelings and focus on areas on which we need improvement. It’s also sardonic that generally the people who need to change think they are unflawed and everyone else around them is the problem. It’s important to never say never and to not make judgments and assumptions. Before you make up your mind about a situation think about how you would feel if the tables were turned. Get in touch with your HEART before you press “Send.”

Coming this winter.. a new book “Before you Press SEND” the unspoken word behind electronic communications.