Do you believe getting that raise or promotion is based on who likes you and not necessary how smart or hard-working you are? If you are nodding ‘yes’ I agree with you. It is undeniable that human ethics are changing. It seems that the more you “wine and dine,” and flatter those in power, the more successful you may be in getting what you want and move up that ladder.

Sadly, honesty doesn’t seem to be valued as much as it used to in the workplace. On the contrary, even though you work hard and you are told you are a valued employee, the minute you share your opinion or push back on an issue, or question a certain decision, you are seen as a problem maker. You speak up about a concern you have, or an issue you’re facing, and instead of getting support, you’re either ‘let go’ or your concerns are dismissed, ignored, or even worse, you are ridiculed and reprimanded for raising them.

It is true that when you are honest and ‘real’ about issues, you may be disliked, or people feel threatened by you. And yet, if you keep flattering those above you, even though all your compliments may be fake, the more you will be liked. But, you have to ask yourself, if it is really worth it to be ‘fake’ to move up the ladder.

So, what will it be? Being honest and sharing your point of view (in a nice way, mind you), or, keep flattering those in power even though you don’t mean a single word? Before you answer that, here’s one more question: would you rather have peace within you every night when you go to bed knowing that you are a genuine and honest person or have that feeling of being a hypocrite who tries to manipulate people to get what he or she wants?

I can’t deny the fact that we all play the political game at work. If we always said what we thought, without a filter, we would be fired! And yet, there needs to be a limit to it all. Too much flattery eventually becomes stale.

My next question to you is this: Do you want to move up so badly that you are willing to sacrifice your authentic self? I know it’s a tough question, especially if you’ve been denied that promotion you had your heart set on to someone who is a ‘friend’ of the hiring manager and possibly less qualified; or, maybe you didn’t get the raise you deserved; and, you are financially straggling, barely making it, and that extra money is what you need. It may be true that the more egos you boost through flattery, the more people may like you. But, eventually, your sense of a person will be corrupted and being ‘fake’ will take over your life.

How can you tell if you’re being ‘fake?‘ Well, listen to what you say. If your words don’t match what your heart tells you, and you have that strange feeling in your gut, then you know you’re being fake. You may get that promotion or that raise, but will that really satisfy you?

When you put your head on that pillow every night, it’s best to have peace in your heart, a feeling of completion, a sense of satisfaction in who you are as a person rather than the position you hold, the type of car you drive, or the amount of money you make through ‘fake’ words. Honesty and integrity will never fail you in the end.

Be true to yourself and others.