Don’t you just know it when someone is brown-nosing you!? Even though you may not be able to put your finger on it, you just feel it! The compliments don’t feel sincere, or are way too often. You can tell that their words are merely lip service, possibly trying to get something out of you.

When faced with a situation whereby someone is constantly showering you with compliments, be careful and yet at the same time be mindful before making judgements. Ask yourself “why am I feeling this way?” Does it have to do with preconceptions, maybe prior personal experiences, or possibly any past unpleasant interactions you may have had with this person?

Points to consider are:

• Did this person say or do something in the past that made you doubt his or her sincerity? For example, did he or she agree with you on a certain issue when chatting one-on-one, and yet, he or she did not support you in a larger group setting when the same issue was discussed? Even worse, he or she may have even disagreed with you completely?
• How often does this person compliment you? Does this happen every single day?
• Does this person compliment other people as frequently as he or she compliments you, possibly about the same things?
• Does this person try to get information out of you but he or she never opens up when you ask a question?

If you answered yes to at least two of these questions, then there’s a major possibility that you are dealing with a brown noser.

Brown nosers try to make you think they have your back whereas in reality they can’t wait to kick you the minute you fall down. Or, they may even kick you down themselves as soon as they get an opportunity.

I am sure there’s someone in your personal life or in your workplace that your gut tells you there’s something off about the person. Don’t dismiss those feelings. When complimented, accept it with grace, nod, smile, and yet be on your guard so that your decisions are not influenced by the compliments one way or another.

On the other hand, if you are the one complimenting others, do it sparingly and only if you really mean it. Otherwise, your words will come across as empty and fake, and may even have a negative impact at the end.

Remember, in order for a compliment to have value, it should come from one’s heart and not just from one’s lips. Just as you can sniff out a brown noser, so can others.